Fuck 2005...

2006 in Preview

If life were a full 20 gigabyte iPod on random shuffle, 2005 was that one song that annoyingly seems to get replayed every so often. And my question to you is: Why does it always pick the worst song?

While I realize it has been 2006 for a week now, I've learned a lot about myself in the last seven days. One good thing about living with someone you are no longer intimate with but that has intimate knowledge of you is that they immediately become an untapped oil well of constructive criticism, a proverbial diving board into a pool of all your faults, so to speak. So I'm chalking up the last 7 days to 2005 since, let's face facts, I've drank my way through them anyhow and barely remember any of it. I'm applying what I've learned in the last 371 days to the next 357 days. 2006 starts now.

So what do I have to look forward to in the new year?

1)Increased Flexibility
Laugh all you want, but I've recently taken up Yoga. For those of you that know me, you'll know that this involves a break from two of my most entrenched hatreds: physical activity and wearing shorts. However, I do have a strong desire to begin looking after myself and what better way of doing that then by standing on one foot, holding my arm above my head and calling it a workout.

2)Selling Out
Or not. Stay tuned...

3. A rediscovering of my inner organic matter
You may not believe it, but somewhere beneath this metallic outer layer lies a heart that beats, a liver that excretes bile, and a rectum ampulla that acts as a temporary storage facility for feces. My plan is to look inwards more and explore it all. Well, maybe not the rectum. No, wait, you're right. Even the rectum. sigh

4.Be myself
In other words, embroider whatever letter I want on the front of my speedo and quit caring about what others might think about my furry belly.