Single white atheist seeks an emotionally detached female, intellectual and angular faced with jet black hair and defined pale calves, whose turn-ons include depressing subtitled b&w Swedish films and 1920's women's hats. o.b.o. Box #4235

The problem with personal ads is that people aren't nearly specific enough. They use vague terms like "attractive" or "caring" when really they want someone who will add more melted butter to their Orville Redenbacher Microwavable Movie Butter Popcorn or finds it creepy when adolescent children wear jeans. So while there may only be one other person in your city who agrees that it's hilarious when old people slip on patches of ice or prefers 1920s bathing suits to modern day string bikinis, if these things are important to you then include them in your personal ad. Whether you publish it or keep it to yourself.

And remember, your standards are only too high if no one lives up to them. In which case it's their fault.