Fantasies Created
Fantasies Obliterated
Fantasies Fulfilled

or
Highballing it through Gypsy Land

Ummm...

Apparently I didn't make it to Gus's last evening, but I'll just have to take your word on that. Unless B.A. has ditched his reliance on out of tune guitars held together by electrical tape and 1980's Casio keyboard midi's for a 7-piece gypsy jazz band, all the evidence seems to point to my not having left Ginger's. My intention really was to head out at some point, but Jack Daniel's just wouldn't let go of my God damned arm.

There are three signs as to why I feel the apocalypse is closing in:

The weather: When winter lasts only 3 days you know that can't be a good thing.

Stephen Harper: When the devil takes power you know time is running out.

A love life: When I have one you know that gravity will soon cease to exist.

I first met The Woman in the Black Striped Dress three ex's ago (which sadly equates to around 5 years). They were friends and I was at that inevitable point in monogamy when my heart was beginning to wander with my eyes. Last night she said that I looked "as cute as always." I said "that couldn't possibly be a good thing." Later she gave me her business card. I thought that possibly could be a good thing.

The Violinist made herself known by repeatedly punching me in the chest on the dance floor. Granted, I was dancing, so probably deserved it. Later she grabbed a chair and pretended to smash it over Bish's head. When she stole the drink tray from the waitress and threatened to bludgeon me with it, I actually heard a *poof* as all those fantasies self combusted into thin air.

Today I learned how to make homemade bagels. Strike one more reason off the list of why I ever need to leave my apartment.