Bizarro Corner Diaries

From Wikipedia:

In the Bizarro world, a cube-shaped planet known as "Htrae" (Earth spelled backward), society is ruled by the Bizarro Code, which states that it is a crime to do anything well or to make anything perfect or beautiful.

Growing up, I was what you might affectionately call a "Comic Nerd." While Spiderman was always my favourite, I also had almost the entire run of a series put out by D.C. Marvel Comics called "What If." The basic premise of each issue was to change one or two key components of a superhero storyline and see what happened. Like, "What if the world knew Daredevil is blind," "What if Conan the Barbarian lived in the 20th century," or "What if The Incredible Hulk turned pink instead of green?"

Not to compare myself to a superhero, though my lack of emotions have been said to be "monolithic," lately I've been considering plots for my own issues of "What If." For example, "What if Pizza Diarist updated his wardrobe to that worn by people born in the later half of the 20th century instead of pre World War Two?" "What if Pizza Diarist became less of an insecure loser and cut back on his annoying tendencies towards poorly written self deprecating humour?" But the best one I've come up with so far is, "What if Pizza Diarist parted his hair?" Think of the ramifications!

Perhaps I should take a page from the Bizzaro World rule book and consider it a crime to try for anything that's perfect and just settle for whatever comes along that contains even one iota of what I'm looking for.

Or perhaps I should do like George did in that Seinfeld episode where he acted in the complete opposite way that his gut told him to and changed his life for the better. For example, if I meet an attractive and interesting woman, perhaps blushing, shuffling in one spot and staring at my feet isn't the best route to her heart.

Or, if I have an economics mid-term exam in two days, perhaps I should study for it instead of wasting my time writing this pointless drivel.