Pizza Corner Diaries

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Wednesday

Pizza Diarist Bids Adieu to 16-Color Online Porn

Did you know that in 1995 Bill Gates paid Brian Eno $35,000 to write and record that sound you hear when Microsoft Windows starts up. Well, I'm truly sorry Brian Eno. I still respect you and all, but no more will I have the pleasure of listening to your 6 second "Hello" five times a day when I'm forced to restart my PC after it randomly freezes up and I'm forced to reboot because I'm running two programs at once. Sure, this computer is old, but even my grandmother can rub her tummy and pat her head at the same time. And she must be running at, what, like 25 MHz these days.


"DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT"

It was a tough decision to be sure. But I was prodded into taking my tendency towards impulsive purchasing to new heights by crack Mac dealer, Bishop. I must have stared at that "Purchase" button for two hours, all the while my Internet Messenger dinging threateningly. I guess what sealed the deal was the image of the beautiful new iMac, just glowing off of my 8" screen in all the 16 colour, 640 by 350 pixels of my EGA monitor. So I closed my eyes and clicked. That is, I flicked some switches and turned some knobs, inserted a punchcard, and watched all the dials on my 1963 mainframe computer light up like Fourth of July fireworks. Excitement coursed through my veins at 2400 baud modem speed.


Pizza Diarist like a pig in shit depression era homeless child living in a cardboard box


Alright, so I might be evicted when I can't pay next month's rent. True. But I figure the box my iMac arrives in should be big enough to fit my bed. And I'll just have to buy a printer and use that box as my office. It will also be worth it to see what the porn sites I frequent look like with actual realistic skin tone colours. No more EGA porn for Pizza Diarist!



p.s. Hopefully my new Mac will improve my photoshopping skills.

4 Comments:

Blogger Blandy Snorhal said...

Based on that picture of the kid in the box, the depression seemed hilarious. And like "Cinderella Man" taught us, the depression was so disco.

1:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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6:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Vibratoren oder Roboterhände, die an diesen
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Mich wickelt Mann nicht so leicht um den Finger.


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1:55 PM  

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